Dumb managers?!

Ever since I took up management studies, I hear a lot about dumb managers. However, this one topped them all!

A visitor walked into the GM's room. The GM who was apparently busy on a fixed phone call, asked the visitor to be seated. The visitor took his seat and waited for the manager to finish his call. Once he was done, the GM apologized to the visitor for having to make him wait and explained that there was an important customer on the other end of the line. The visitor smiled and replied, "Well, Sir! I don't think that's possible, 'cause your secretary called me up to come over and fix up the phone cable, she told me that the line was dead!"

Yet to find the GM's reply :)

Dowry dynamics

Dowry is an affair that seems to be seamlessly integrated into the Indian culture. Though it has been often claimed that this practice had declined - while some even go to the extent claiming that this practice is extinct. And there are those that argue, that in their system, the bridegroom gives away a dowry. The problem with the whole thing, is irrespective of the party giving the dowry, the victim is the woman. In fact, the second case is subtler than the first one.

I've observed that even the literate, high class section of the society isn't any exception to this rule. Most so-called gentlemen do demand dowry, and there are so-called ladies who so strongly believe that a man who doesn't demand a dowry isn't worth it. (Though they'd never dare to tell it publicly.) While it can be argued that its the choice of the woman to give a dowry or not - it is an indirect degradation of the bride in question. It amounts to pay someone to marry her.

Case 2 as I said earlier is more deceptive. Termed as Bride Price in several countries, its in practice in several countries (including USA) - its the amount of money or property given to the bride's family (obviously the father) by the bridegroom. The issue here is that, the bride is treated as a property. And we all know too well, how people have sold daughters for centuries - bride price is just a modern version!

Eliminating dowry from a society is of course no easy task. It needs a lot of change in attitude. Its of course, not a man vs. woman stuff. There are many men who think its bad - and several women who feel its okay. However, to conclude, if you are female, if you are feminist, you are FREE!

If you've liked this article, you might also like the Christian perspective. To read click here.

Homeless Guerillas

“The notion that intellectual property rights should never expire, and works never enter the public domain -- this is the truly fanatical and unconstitutional position,''

- Jonathan Zittrain, co-founder of the Berkman Center for Internet and Society, Harvard Law School

When someone talks of free as in freedom, the listeners usually perceive it in a negative connotation. In fact, many even argue that copyrighting and patenting is a means to encourage creativity - but behind closed doors use pirated Microsoft Office software. Face the facts, for example a money-sucker by name Bill Gates wrote a book called The Road Ahead – and copyrighted it! So any person speaking the English language is not supposed to write a book under the same title. What tyranny! It’s obviously foolish to argue that the authors’ interests are protected, even a child can say that it serves the publishers interests rather than any author – the demmed billing Gates included (Pun intended). It was to oppose this nonsense, the Free Culture Movement began – obviously an offshoot of the more popular Free Software Foundation. To read my article on FOSS click here. Does copying destroy creativity? Overwhelming empirical evidence compels me to say no. The Free Libre Open Source Software (FLOSS) movement has produced better software, are valued as better businesses¹ than all its cold, costly and closed competitors. Over to fine arts, the once booming music/movie industry is apparently in trouble. A friend of mine watches most movies before they are released in India. The economic implications aside, I approve of piracy. If they don’t give it, take it! But freedom is more than just piracy. It’s the right to use the work, free from any fear of cops knocking your door, telling you that your tune has been already copyrighted by someone called AR Rahman (as if no one has the creativity that Rahman has) – pathetic! It’s also the right to modify the work and use it. And that’s what free culture movement is all about. Presently, it’s like guerrilla warfare. And interestingly Indian Hackers lead the show. But it needs more support, more voices to join together to oppose this infraction of personal freedom. Our revolution must be an immediate revolution in our daily lives; anything else is not a revolution, but a demand that people once again do what they do not want to do and hope that that this time, somehow, the compensation will be enough.² Obviously, the road ahead (screw Gates) to freedom is not going to be easy. Free Culture activists experience a psychological phenomenon called homelessness – everyone stands away from family members to the government, to college professors; even though they might secretly approve of it. Of course, for those who dream of a world without flags, borders or authorities, homelessness is a natural state.

References:

1. Vance, Ashley. “Valuation Hiccups.” eWorld Business Line. 7 December 2009: P1.

2. Anonymous. Days of War, Nights of Love. Anywhere: CrimethInc, (Copyright?? WHAT???) NEVER!

PS:

Visit www.freeculture.org to learn more about the FC Movement.

Are you a manager?

I read this joke somewhere...

A manager was flying over to a conference in an air balloon. Having forgotten his compass, he lost his way in the skies. He was scanning the ground for help, when at last he spotted a gentleman on the road. He lowered his balloon and told the gentleman that he was lost, and in need of help. He said with a smile, "I'm lost. Can you please tell me where I am?" The gentleman politely replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are presently at 51°16'N, 101°32'W."

The obviously upset manager shot back, "Are you an engineer?" "Yes," said the gentleman, "but how did you find out?" "Well, everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm Still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me at all. If anything you did is delayed my trip even more," quipped the manager. "Are you an manager?" asked the gentleman. "Yes" The gentleman sarcastically smiled, "I knew, I guessed right. You don't know where you are, or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, with the help of a lot of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems!"

MBA vs Engineer

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian...

An MBA and an engineer go on a camping trip, set up their tent and fall asleep. Some hours later, the engineer wakes his MBA friend, "Look up at the sky and tell me what you see." The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" The MBA ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Economically, there are mass scales of stars in the sky. So 'Economy of Scale' would be the ideal strategy in that market. Strategically, such market would be a volume driven market. Financially, it would be a low margin market. For a HR perspective, we would require huge man-power. Well, what does that tell you?"

The engineer is silent for a moment, then speaks:

"PRACTICALLY......... Someone has STOLEN OUR TENT!!!"

The humor aside, the message is clear: PAY ATTENTION TO DETAILS!

Favorite passage from Shakespeare

To be or not to be

To be, or not to be: that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;

No more; and by a sleep to say we end

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Must give us pause: there's the respect

That makes calamity of so long life;

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,

The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,

The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,

The insolence of office and the spurns

That patient merit of the unworthy takes,

When he himself might his quietus make

With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,

To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

But that the dread of something after death,

The undiscover'd country from whose bourn

No traveller returns, puzzles the will

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

Than fly to others that we know not of?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;

And thus the native hue of resolution

Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,

And enterprises of great pith and moment

With this regard their currents turn awry,

And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!

The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons

Be all my sins remember'd.

                - by William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Most favorite childhood poem

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

- by Rudyard Kipling